Make Me Believe You Mean This.

Current feelings, over it. I feel a sense of closure, relief, satisfaction in meeting someone new and so entirely great that it makes boys from the past feel so far gone. Though all of this said with a grain of salt, trust is also a feeling of the past. That makes me a little sad. Just the thought that a few shitty people ruined it for everyone I will meet in the future. 

Anyway, what I've been doing. Since I've been very sick there isn't a whole lot of excitement in my life. This weekend was nice though. Friday I worked at Urban and I talked to Joram a lot at work, so we made plans to hang that night. I didn't think much of it to be honest. After work I went home then met with Mike for dinner at Chipotle, and we talked and for the first time in a long time I could honestly look him in the eye and not care who he would be drunkenly screwing (over) that night. It doesn't matter anymore, he has chosen to not have me, and be it a mistake or not, it was his mistake to make. 

I went to uptown after that to meet Joram and we walked to meet Josh and Maya and went to a show in Chaska. Hardcore obviously not being my thing in any way shape or form, I don't even know what compelled me to join him. I guess it went like this, I called Andrew and said, I hate hardcore and I met this cute boy and I don't think I want to go because guys have been disappointing me left and right. So do I go home and sit on my computer and over think how much things suck until we get drunk later or do I grit my teeth through this show? He said, don't be dumb, go to the show. So I went. It is really sad how much I rely on Andrew, and it's even more sad thinking about the lack of time I've spent with him in the last two weeks.

 The show was exactly what I expected. Almost all kids under 18, gross girls that do not know how to dress, boys that have way too much testosterone and sweat. But it was alright because I saw Joram in a new light, and he was great, and he introduced me to all his friends and he was always making sure that I was doing okay and and.. it was so much better than going places with he whose name must not be mentioned. After that we went to a party in uptown. It was all mcad kids, fuck mcad kids, no offense to the few of you that I love. But seriously, step off your soap box, you kids are like "the cool kids" in high school, and funny thing is you were all the losers in high school.. now you're being the people you hated. fuck off. I don't care that your mommy and daddy paid lots of money for you to go be a pretentious fuck and make art and talk about your super indie books and record collections. You all look the same in your sweaters from some thrift store because you are oh so thrifty... and paired with your designer jeans... wait what? Yeah. Thrifty. get fucked. I had to leave. So I did. 

Saturday I spent the entire day with Joram. We slept in, got lunch, and watched movies. Then we went back to his place in uptown and Joel came over, so we walked to the liquor store where Wesley met us. Then we drank and watched The Dark Knight and talked about a bunch of shit. Cheers to Urban for opening the door to meet some of the coolest fucking people ever. Once the four of us were pretty drunk the night only got better. We had a snow ball fight and then went to Lauren's apartment and drank brandy with root beer and watched Pete and Pete, the night gets blurry about there. But at some point I managed to drive home and pass out in my clothes. 

Today I woke up and watched Twilight in my bed and fell back asleep for a while and dreamt about Edward Cullen. I'm lame. Then I picked up Joram and we went to target to get groceries and movies. Made dinner and watched Tropic Thunder and Step Brothers with Jack and Madison. Thanks red box for only having dumb movies, but surprisingly both movies were very funny, I guess they are what they are and nothing better. Now it's a blizzard outside and it's time for me to get some sleep. 

Currently Listening to Say Anything feat. Kenny Vasoli & Hayley Williams- Plea

-->DOWNLOAD<--