Wednesday, January 7, 2009

But being alone wasn't half as bad.

I never thought it possible, I think I fell in love with someone worse than me.

..and I'm getting that feeling like I don't wanna go on anymore. We are all suffering from "seasonal depression." At least we're convinced of something. It was there all along, it just takes scraping the ice of your windows to remember why it's not worth scraping off. I've drank a half bottle of gin, I've successfully battered my friendship with three of my closest, and I've let them as well as I, convince myself I am clinically insane. Remember all those people in your past that said, "you will never be happy." ? I hate laying my head down and knowing they were right, but dammit now is your chance more than ever to say, I told you so.

I will never be happy. I am a masochist in love with a narcissist and I can't quit him because I am a masochist. I'd rather be hurt than hurt anyone. 


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